[Relegatedz Rankings] The Hottest Around

In 1912, an American scientist named Wilbur Scoville devised a scale to measure the hotness factor of a pepper or other stuff containing the compound capsaicinoid. Capsaicinoid is an irritant for us mammals as it triggers a burning response in whatever tissue it comes in contact with...you know the feeling!!

A rough estimate of the torture you have to induce from a fiery habanero is given in terms of Scoville units, which is basically the amount of times you have to drink water over the frikkin' chili to cut down its effect to zero!!! Kidding!

10. A'ji Dulce

0 Scoville Units

Native to the South Americas, this chili aint worthy to be called a chili. It is sooo sweet you can have a bowl of it for dinner and then brag about it to your friends, 'You know I had a bowl of chilies for dinner last night, god promise!' 



Anytime!

9. Peperoncini

100 Scoville Units

You knew it was Italian didn't you?? Well the Peperoncini doesn't live up to its mafioso name and delivers just a mild punch when you were expecting a full burst of Thompson fire from it. You can take it twice or thrice before feeling a bit of that 'something'.

Why the hell did this shoe show up in our Google Images search for peperoncini?



8. Jalapeño

Spicy? Hell Yeah!!

2500 Scoville Units

Native to Mexico this weirdly named chili is smoked, stuffed with cheese and eaten and jelled into jellies to poison schoolchildrens' lunchboxes; well you can't blame the Mexicans for such patriotic behavior, we would have done the same if we had an indigenous celebrity chili (see pic!). You go into a Mexican restaurant and half the menu is stuffed with jalapeno delicacies Caviche Accapulco, Burrito Casserole...hell they are a bunch of tongue twisters!!!

Well if you have eaten a jalpeno raw then your eyes might water and a little burning can be felt on the tongue. You can walk away harmless from this ordeal.

7. Serrano Pepper

Chilliland!

20,000 Scoville Units

One of the most used chilies in Mexico, Serrano is an uninviting, sharp red pepper common to the eastern Mexican states of Puebla and Hidalgo. It is mostly eaten RAW and packs quite a punch. You might experience a sharp biting sensation on your tongue along with watery eyes and a runny nose. A box of tissues is a must while eating it raw.

6. Cayenne Pepper

Well it does seem sexy :-P

50,000 Scoville Units

This luscious, red chili is named after the city of Cayenne in the French Guinea. However it is the perfect example for the adage "looks can be deceiving" because if you are unlucky enough to get one of these in your mouth you are bound to get some uncontrolled watering of your eyes and a leaky nose and ah! that poor tongue of yours!!  

5. Bird's Eye Chilies



A typical Thai mouse. Notice the
stuff in the background? They are the
Bird's eye chilies!

100,000 Scoville Units

A small round red chilli grown in the former Spanish\ Portuguese colonies of East Asia, Bird's Eye Chili is so named because of its small, almost round shape and because of the fact that it is a personal favorite of birds to eat and disperse. We question why because this little piece of shit (we are not being offensive here...it is known as 'Mouse's Dropping' in Thailand; we wonder how the mice look over there!!) has quite a load of heat in itself. A typical Bird's Eye Chilli can make you sweaty even when the temperature around is close to 10 degrees!!

4. Madame Jeanettes

350,000 Scoville Units



We didn't know Madame Jeanette was
euphemism for 'wrinkled, old woman!'

These innocuously named chilies are so inviting; who would turn down a chili with a name like a hostess on a French prairie? Well you should!! unless you want your ass on fire. These bell pepper like chilies (Michael Jackson's nose-job anyone?) have a very high capsaicin content and once ingested they will make you a sorry piece of shit. Expect some condolences your way as you cry convulsively "Why God? Waaaayyyy have you made this %&@^@^&@$&$&@@$***#%?" And did we mention that you won't be able to taste a thing after the hell load of taste buds you have killed?

3. Red Savina Habanero

"Yeah! I eat it whenever I feel like
eating it. And thats about a 100 times
a day!!!"

1,060,000 Scoville Units

As if the world hadn't got its fair share of ass-scorchers yet, Robert Garcia (we believe he is of Mexican parentage) selectively bred Habanero chilies and produced a badass chili that held the world record for the hottest stuff on our planet (after Gisele Bundchen that is) from 1994 to 2006. Once eaten, it will start with a mild pine-applish taste and then build on from that...and by build we mean it culminates into making your intestinal track a FUCKING LOOP OF FIRE!! Well lets not talk about the mouth here...we bet you won't have one after eating this stuff.

2. Bhut Jolokia

1,100,000 Scoville Units

Just try and eat me you SOB bwahahaha!

This pepper's name literally translates to 'Ghost Chili' and this is not a manifestation of a typically superstitious Indian mind but rather this stuff is truly paranormal in terms of the sting it delivers. A typical bhut jholakia will turn you into a very sorry sight; you will sweat an Indus, you will cry an Atlantic and your innards will turn into the lava from Mount Pinatubo. And before moving on we would like to introduce you to some uses of this stuff...

• It is used for treating stomach ailments; yeah, when the stomach is gone, the defects follow.
• It is used as a 'remedy' for Indian summer heat; by scorching you to hell. Whoever came up with this presumed that the dead feel no heat, well do they?? GENIUS!!
• It is proposed to be used in grenades to 'flush out terrorists' by the Indian Defense Department; by flushing out terrorists they mean scraping out the charred remains of what used to be a terrorist, pretty effective. Pentagon you listen?

1. Trinidad Scorpion Butch T

1,463,700 Scoville Units

Now we know about Devil's
favorite fruit!!

We assume it was once named Trinidadian Scorpion Sting and Butcher of Testicles before it was toned down for the Guinness Book of World Record where it reigns the page for the hottest pepper. This badass chili is grown in Australia by the Chili Factory and the seeds for it are provided by the Hippy Seed Company with Butch Taylor being credited as its discoverer (enough bullshit for a day, by the way I guess the Chili Factory will look quite similar to the Chocolate factory of Willie Wonka's, just replace all those yummy chocolate rivers with molten lava and all the chocolates with this Butch T). 

Well no sane man would try to eat this shit and if one does then we must say he has elephantiasified balls because once the fire escapes the Butch T it will turn you into a blazing mass of protoplasm. And did we mention that you will cry like a bitch as you melt to cult status...and that your grave will be marked with a memorial having a Butch T over two massive concrete balls.

We found this chilli to be the most awesome of all...so it deserved another pic!!

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[Relegatedz Rankings] 10 Businessmen Who Made Billions By Simple Ideas

Businessmen are mostly though of as people having no special brains but lots of money to invest! And this 'definition' of businessmen is correct to some extent as the following list will prove, 10 Billionaires who started off with the most simples of ideas...

10. "Chocolate Spread, Anyone?"
Monaco-based Michelle Ferrero owns one of the biggest chocolate companies in Europe, Ferrero, loves church and chocolate and has a total fortune of $11 billion. But his real hit-the-jackpot-moment came when he thought about inducting chocolate spread in our daily breakfast routine and thus Nutella was born, which is single-handedly responsible for a big jump in Ferrero's revenues.
An advice, keep this stuff away from your babies...or else...

9. Clogged Vacuum Cleaners
James Dyson is basically a UK-based guy who has a degree in design and engineering...but additionally owns $1.6 billion! How? Well his hit-the-jackpot-moment showed up when he though about constructing a vacuum cleaner that is upright and sucks dirt without the hassle of clogged filters. 5124 prototypes and a perfect G-Force was ready. No need to mention that it was an instant hit with the masses!!

8. Simple Candies are Obsolete

Hans and Paul Reigal are German brothers who have a craving for creating the most weird of candies, chewy, fruity and savory candies in all sorts of shapes. According to an interview, the 85-year-old elder Reigal gets his sweety ideas from reading comics and watching kid's movies! According to reasonable estimates, their confectionery Haribo, has got sales of around $2.2 billion, so much for oddly-shaped candies!

7. "Wanna Locker?"
Brad Hughes is an happy ol' man, having $3.6 billion in his pocket and everything he desired for (except for a Kentucky Derby win!). Brad's hit-the-jackpot-moment came whilst on a road trip, he stopped at a warehouse and found it full, got home and set up a bunch of lockers off a highway, effectively kicking off his storage business Private Storage. But with this sort of a name he drove off a lot of customers so he opted for a more friendly Public Storage and people started coming in hordes. He also bought his biggest rival Shurguard in 2005. The ol' man doesn't like competition, it seems, well no businessman does!

6. "I am a BookWorm!"
Although he looks more like a stand-up comedian but you gotta respect this guy! He gave you Amazon.com! Jeff Bezos initially got an inspiration from the woes of thousands of book lovers who have to make countless trips to the book stores. He wanted to curtail this hassle and offered at-your-doorstep book provision upon online order. His solely booked Amazon.com went online in 1997 and now has emerged as a one-stop-shop for all our needs! And yes $8.3 billion is this guy's total fortune!

5. E-Market!

Pierre Omidyar is a French computer programmer who had his hit-the-jackpot-moment when he thought about creating a website that would provide the world with an online portal for buyers and sellers to converge upon and so ebay.com was born! Since 1995 it has become a primary or secondary source of income for over two million people around the globe and in the meantime has generated average revenues of $7.7 billion!
One complaint, the logo of ebay looks more like a title of a hip-hop album...

4. Everybody Loves Cuties
Ty Warner, a salesman's son who dropped out of of college and didn't give the tiniest notion that he would be a billionaire one day. His hit-the-jackpot-moment showed up when he though about selling stuffed bean bags shaped like cartoon characters with cute names. Beanie Babies hit the shelves in mid-1993 and stirred up a collecting craze that would bless him with $4.1 billion as fortune. He has expanded his business with the Ty Dolls line and a bunch of seasonal resorts. Well ask me, I don't know why people wanna cuddle with purple-eyed doggies?

3. I have got Wiiiiiings!
Chaleo Yoovidhya and Dietrich Mateschitz may be from nations far apart but they had their mutual hit-the-jackpot-moment when they thought about concocting an energy drink that is heavily caffeinated and super-concentrated with B-vitamins, Redbull was born. Easily the most sold energy beverage of our times. Caffeine seems to keep you up when you have drank a pitcher of Coke or Pepsi,well...these guys knew it (who doesn't?) and concentrated that amount of caffeine in a good, 'ol, handy can, popping in some steroids and vitamins as they sealed the can. No need to mention that caffeine in itself is addictive as well...so the two are pretty well off with average sales of $4.4 billion...

2. Simple Polo Shirts? Duh!
Ralph Lauren can be considered as one of the most prestigious apparel designers in the world. No fashion fiesta touches the barrier of completion without him (at least the organizers say so =P). He launched his Ralph Lauren apparel company in 1967 which has pretty much crept into everything, from perfumes to house-paints.
But his money-making success initiated from the moment he thought about grabbing a polo shirt, adding a horse decal and pricing it at $50... and b00m! His sales rocketed, so much for that little horse and its tiny golf-club bearing rider which would have cost Lauren less than a dollar on its own! $4.2 billion are what he has got...

1. Smelly Feet...Yikes!
Mario Moretti is this Italians' name, who had his hit-the-jackpot moment when, repulsed from smelly feet (foot fetishism any one?), he thought about adding tiny holes to the bottom of shoes to release sweat thereby eliminating that nasty stink that is enough to rid anesthesia from a general hospital! Initially he wanted to sell this idea to Nike, but Nike had standards this guy didn't know, so they turned him down and with it a multi-million dollar yanking advertisement proclaiming the pope to be their customer! Therefore Moretti started off his own shoe company Geox which has helped him to get a fortune worth $2.9 billions, just by selling shoes with holes at their soles...hell I could do that..just hand me over a pair of compasses!! And apparently this guy loves smelling his creations...

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[Relegatedz Rankings] 10 Most Gruesome Torture Tools

You may have watched gory movies like Saw, The Final Destination or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre without even flinching but what lays ahead will surely redefine your perception of torture....presenting to you the 10 Most Gruesome Torture Devices of Medieval times...

10. The Pear of Anguish

A form of torture reserved for blasphemers, homosexuals, liers, women who had a miscarriage and adulterers.

This pear shaped torture tool was inserted in one of the victim's orifices (mouth, vagina or anus, yikes!) and as the torturer turned the screw the 'leaves of the pear' opened up inside the victim. Although not deadly by itself but the excruciating pain that accompanied its function was enough to make the tortured pass out.

9. The Screw

One of the most effective tools to churn out the required information from a prisoner, the Screw slowly crushed the victim's fingers, toes, elbows or knees.

8. The Boots

A torture devices that made a victim's legs completely useless. It consisted of two curved iron sheets that were screwed around the legs of the unfortunate. The many wedges on the inside were then made use of as the torturer repeatedly struck the sheets with a hammer. The victims often had their legs reduced to minced meat and crushed bones, not to mention the bone marrow that 'sauced' the remain!

7. Guided Cradle

Imagine sitting on top of a a sharp, pyramid-like structure with your arms and legs all chained up. The torturers would yank you up and then let you fall on that penetrating thing! A slow and painful death through impaling occurs. Lucky us! Not living in medieval Spain!

6. Head Crusher

The chin of an unfortunate victim ends up on the lower bar while the cap is slowly screwed on to his/her skull. This purely painful device was one of the torturers' favorite throughout the medieval ages. Imagine when the skull is crushed by that cap!

5. The Spanish Donkey

The name may sound a bit amusing but the torture this device 'bestows' upon its 'riders' is excruciating even to think of. The victim sits astride the sharpened pyramidal knife with weights usually hanging from his/her feet. In a few hours the targeted person is sliced in half from his/her own weight... initiating from a very painful point too! 

4. The Rack

The rack was one of the most painful forms of torture device to be used in medieval Europe. The accused was usually laid across the raised platforms with his/her arms and legs tied firmly, the torturer then turned the rollers and the victim's joints would snap one by one due to extreme stretching!

3. Iron Maiden

Many argue that this tool of torture was never actually used, but there is no concrete fact to support their claim so this tool finds the number three spot on my list. The Iron Maiden is more like a coffin lined on the inside with strategically placed iron nails that would impale the victims in the eyes, the chest and the back but will miss the vital organs, like heart or lungs so that the unfortunate person inside would live for a period of excruciating pain and profuse bleeding.

2. Inquisitional Chair

The Spaniards had a taste for inventing gnarling torture devices but nothing seems to beat their famed Inquisitional Chair. A person unfortunate enough to be strapped tightly to this 'chair' would experience unending pain as hundreds of nails pierced his/her flesh and if this wasn't enough the torturers would push down on the unfortunate soul for added penetration. Moreover there were reports of people also being 'cooked' on this chair as the torturers heated the poor victim until he/she was roasted alive! This is some torture!

1. Catherine Wheel

Without doubt, the most gruesome torture device ever used! The usage of this tool of torture was most frequented in medieval Germany. The victim had his/her major joints first crushed with a specially strengthened hammer. Then the gelatinous remains were twisted around the spokes of the wheel and the unfortunate person was left at the mercy of the outside world, often 'treated' with rotten tomatoes, fecal matter and other 'luxuries' before the crows and vultures took toll and the poor soul died a horrible death.

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